


I Remember Everything

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Alcohol, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, scene continuation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 03:45:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6036664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After reliving every detail to the police all Aaron wants to do it forget, can Robert be the one to help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Remember Everything

**Author's Note:**

> Possible senerio following the scenes from 8th Feb, the day Aaron went to the police.
> 
> Editing a fic and I got bored so thought I'd upload this instead! Enjoy <3

“Worse parts over now though eh?” Chas said quietly as she took the seat next to her son giving his arm a reassuring squeeze, she was so proud of him today and even though he wouldn’t look at her she knew he was hurting.

“You really believe that.” Aaron stated flatly his eyes trained on the four pieces of a photograph in his hands willing his mum to release her hold on him, he didn’t want her sympathy all he wanted was to be left alone.

Cain was stood near the door not knowing what to say to make his nephew feel better all he could do was be there for him, if and when he needed him.

“We're gonna get im tho, we will, we’ll get him,” Chas promised her hand tightening around her sons wrist.

Aaron blow out a stream of air through his nostrils as he moved away from his mother’s touch and scrunched up the fragments of the school photograph he was holding bringing his fists to his face, this thumbs resting on either side on his nose trying to push back the pressure that was building in his head, the unspent adrenaline, the anger, the hurt, the guilt. He sighed deeply and knew if he didn’t get out he’d end up lashing out at the people who were trying to help him and he couldn’t stand to hurt anyone else so he pushed away from the table dropping the crumpled picture of boy he barely recognised anymore on the table ignoring his mother’s calls as he stormed out of the room and into the cold night air slamming the door behind him.

Chas smoothed out the glossy paper and pieced the picture back together letting out a small sob as he looked down at the innocent boy smiling back at her, this was all her fault, if she hadn’t have left him none of this would have happened.

The adrenaline of the day still spiking through his body on increased as he slammed the back door to the pub. He doubled over as a wave of nausea hit and knew that he needed a release for his pent up rage and fast. That’s when he saw him approaching from across the car park, his unmistakable blonde hair shining in the street light giving him an almost too perfect glow and that thought was enough to get his feet moving.

“Aaron Aaron are you alright?” Robert called to him when he saw Aaron striding towards him anger clearly etched on his face.

“You!” Aaron spat as he shoved Roberts back into the wall of the pub his tear-filled eyes locking with Roberts confused expression.

“Aar……”

But Robert words were stolen from his mouth as Aarons lips crashing into his. Roberts eyes widen in shock before he allows them to flutter shut briefly relishing in the fact that however hard and anger the kiss may be Aarons lips are finally on his before he comes to his senses and knows that however much he wants Aaron this isn’t right so he tried to push Aaron away the force behind his hands breaking through Aarons connection.

“This is what you want isn't it?” Aaron said bitterly still so close Robert could see the tears about to spill over his red rimmed eyes.

“Yes,” Robert breathed out in the heat of the moment before reality came crashing back in,

“No Aaron no,” he said pushing him further away.

“You're not ready and I'm not taking advantage of you.”

“But I want....” Aaron started before the first sob escaped his chest his hand cupping over his mouth trying but failing to hold back the tears.

“Aaron,” Robert whispered and reached out to comfort him

“Don't-don't touch me,” Aaron cried softly flinching away for Robert.

Robert let his hand fall back to his side his fists clenching with the need to comfort the man he loved. Roberts heart broke as he stood and watched Aaron crumble in front of him. It had been a few days since they last spoke but he knew that he’d told his mum and somehow Adam knew and that’s why he’d come to find him to make sure he was alright with all of it, the police, everything.

“Adam told me you went to the police,” Robert whispered in the dark hoping to get Aaron to talk to him because there was obviously something upsetting him but when he didn’t answer Robert pushed again knowing it was the only way to get Aaron to open up.

“What was that Aaron?” Robert asked when Aaron finally looked up at him through his dark lashes.

“Better than punching ya wasn't it?”

“S’pose but a think I’m still gonna get a bruise,” Robert gave him a soft smile as he let his fingers brush against his lips memorising the feel of Aaron.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Robert replied shyly.

“What-what are you doing here?” Aaron asked after the silence between them became uncomfortable.

“Came to see you.”

“Well now ya have you can do one yeh?” Aaron taunted his defences well and truly back in place.

“Aaron.”

“Just go Robert,” Aaron pleaded.

Robert took a step towards Aaron not wanting to leave but knowing if that’s what Aaron asked for him he couldn’t say no.

“I just wanna help.”

“You wanna help?” Aaron screamed in Robert face.

“Yes,” Robert nodded firmly, he wasn’t about to back down no matter how anger Aaron got.

“Can you make it stop?” Aaron cried in a rare glimpse of vulnerability pointing to his temple.

“I can try,” Robert replied softly.

“You can make me forget can you?” Aaron retorted sarcastically.

“No but I might know a way how,” Robert offered feebly.

Aaron looked up questionably.

“See I have this friend, Jack,” Robert smiled softly hoping Aaron got the joke.

“Jack?”

“Yah and the more you drink the more you forget,” Robert teased softly knowing that whiskey wasn’t the best option right now but when he thought of Aarons alternative method of coping it seemed the better choice.

“He’s back at mine if you wanna join us,” Robert asked hopefully.

“No one home,” he added with a whisper reassuring Aaron they wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Jack,” Aaron sniffed,

“As in Daniels?”

“You know him?” Robert chuckled lightly keeping the joke running.

Aaron snorted and gave a nod in the general direction of keepers cottage,

“Lead the way.”

They ambled across the village in silence the only sound was the gravel from the car park crunching under their feet. As they drew nearer to Roberts Aaron hesitated slightly knowing that if he got drunk with Robert he’d probably spill his guts and end up regretting it in the morning. Robert noticed Aaron pause besides him and stopped turning slightly to talk to him.

“Wait here okay, I’ll just pop in and we can carry on walking if you like.”

Aaron shrugged in reply for which Robert took as an agreement and headed off in searched of his good friend Jack Daniels. As soon as Robert was out of sight Aaron turned around and walked away. The drinking had been a good idea but he wasn’t sure Robert was the best company so instead he headed off to David’s grabbing a six pack and wandered up to the cricket pavilion somewhere he spent a lot of time in his teenage years when he was coping with everything back then or not as the case was in the end. In was onto his third can when he saw the mess of blonde hair approaching again.

“You found me then,” Aaron grinned lazily up from his position against the railings as the watch Robert climb the stairs the alcohol slowly burning through his system

“Believe me it wasn’t the first place I looked,” Robert laughed nervously in fact he frantically searched half the village ignoring the questioning looks as he stormed into the pub and back out again bottle of whiskey still in his hand.

“I see you’ve started the party without me,” Robert said indicating to the empty cans by Aarons side  
ignoring his jibe Aaron pointed to the bottle in Roberts hand and asked

“You sharing or what?”

Robert looked from Aaron to the six pack, from the six pack to the bottle of Jack in his hand and back to Aaron, perhaps this wasn’t one of his better ideas but he knew Aaron needed to do something.

“Knock yourself out.”

“That’s the plan,” Aaron groaned as leant forward to snatch the bottle from Roberts hand but Robert stepped back out of reach making Aaron cry out.

“Ey?”

“Well it’s not a very good one.”

“It was your idea,” Aaron jeered as he strained his neck to look up at Robert would was now towering over him as he sat on the deck of the pavilion.

“Alright yeah fine I’ll give ya that.”

“And that?” Aaron asked his hand reaching out for the bottle

“Fine and that,” Robert tutted as he relinquished his hole on the bottle of whiskey.

Aaron wasted no time in cracking open the bottle and taking a long swig of the amber liquid.

“You want some?” he offered Robert as he sat a few feet away from him.

“No someone’s gotta look after ya.”

“I don’t need a babysitter Robert ya so just do one,” Aaron snarled as he gulped another mouthful of the liquor.

“I’m not leaving ya like this,” Robert stressed his hand waving over the state Aaron was already in after just twenty minutes on his own.

“If ya hoping for another kiss ya can forget it,” Aaron scoffed starting to feel the buzz from the alcohol now coursing through his system.

“Aaron….” Robert started before letting his voice drop off not sure what else to say.

The memory of the kiss however wrong it was would stay burned in Roberts mind but he knew Aaron didn’t mean it that it was just a way for him to express the anger he was feeling and he’d let him do that again and again if it meant he took it out on him instead of himself. He watched as Aaron swallowed another shot or two shaking his head before he said,

“You should be proud ya know.”

“Proud? Proud of what?” Aaron said with an edge to his voice letting them both know the alcohol was beginning to have the desired effect.

“What you did today that was…..brave.”

“Don’t.”

“It was, the truths out Aaron,” Robert exclaimed.

“And I hate it,” Aaron spat.

“What?”

“This, the way you’re,” he took another swig coughing slightly as the liquid burnt his throat,

“The way you’re looking at him, pitying me.”

“I don’t pity you Aaron.”

“I didn’t want this any of this,” Aaron grunted his hand sweeping out knocking over the still full cans by his side.

“What you did today going to the police………”

“I didn’t do it for me,” Aaron snapped at Robert.

“What? Then…..”

“CainIdidittostophim,” Aarons words tumbling from his mouth in a rush of barely audible syllables.

“Aaron?” Robert questioned trying to distinguish his words.

“Just leave it Robert please,” Aaron hiccupped but that didn’t stop him drinking more.

“Okay okay.”

They sat in silence for a while each of them lost in their own thoughts as Aaron kept tipping more and more liquid down his throat hoping to wash away his with the burn of alcohol.

“Why?” Aaron slurred slightly his teeth beginning to chatter from the cold.

“Are you cold?” Robert asked ignoring the question; they both knew why Robert was still there, why

Robert would continue to be there no matter how many times Aaron pushed him away.

“A little,” Aaron shrugged finally managing to place the bottle down on his third try as he wrapped his arms around himself to block out the sudden chill in the air.

“There must be something in here we can use,” Robert said as he climbed to his feet and tried the handle of door behind them.

“Locked,” Robert muttered to himself before turning to face Aaron.

“Move,” Aaron demanded as he stumbled forward grabbing the handle for support. He jiggled the brass lock, kicking the door a few times in just the right spot earning him a call of his name from Robert but after a few attempts he finally jimmied the lock just liked he’d done a hundred times before.

“How did you do that,” Robert marvelled at Aaron’s breaking and entering skills.

“Use’t come ere all the time,” Aaron shrugged causing him to wobble slightly but he clung onto the door for support as he slumped over the wooden frame the only thing keeping him upright

“Heeeeey! Wheeere d’ya goin’?” Aaron slurred jabbing his finger into Roberts chest as Robert started to move passed him and into the small hut.

“Perhaps it’s best if I look yeh?” Robert insisted at a slack jawed Aaron.

“Good idea,” Aaron winked and slid back down to the wooden floor in search of another drink.

Robert rummaged in the dark for a few minutes for remembering he had his phone in his pocket, he clicked on the touch button and the small light illuminated the dark hut enough for him to find what he was looking for.

“Here,” Robert offered as he came back out onto the balcony and wrapped the blanket he’d found around Aarons shoulders.

“Thanks,” Aaron mumbled quietly and leaned into Robert as he took a seat next to him the now bottle empty laid in front for him.

“Aaron are you……..?” Robert was going to ask if Aaron was okay but stopped himself knowing Aaron would hate the question.

“No,” Aaron replied honestly as he fought back his drunken tears.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“No I just wanna forget.”

“Come here it’s alright,” Robert tried to reassure him sliding his arm around Aarons shoulder bringing him closer.

“Gerroff me,” Aaron fought against Roberts embrace but not hard enough as the tears took over and he collapsed in a fit of sobs on to his chest beating his fists against him repeatedly as he unleashed all his pent up emotions from the day’s events.

“I remember,” Aaron wailed.

“Shh shhh,” Robert soothed cradling a distraught Aaron in his arms, rocking him back and forth.

“I remember,” Aaron repeated over and over again.

“It’s okay it’s okay I got ya now,” Robert assured him that he was safe in his arms.

As Aaron began to relax the alcohol helping with that Robert released him and he sat back wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeves.

“Sorry,” Aaron mumbled embarrassed at his outburst.

“Don’t be,” Robert said giving his arm a reassuring squeeze before he shifted slightly away from Aaron giving him the space he knew he needed.

“When you said….”

“Don’t,” Aaron warned as he felt the all too familiar sting begin behind his eyes.

“Aaron.”

“I can’t,” Aaron spluttered the palms of his hands digging into his eyes trying to stop yet another wave of tears.

“Did you tell them?”

“Who?” Aaron looked up at Robert horrified the combination of tears and alcohol causing his head to pound.

“Not Chas or them that lot, but-but the police.”

Aaron responded with a slight nod of his head.

“W-what did ya tell them?” Robert questioned carefully.

“Everything, I remember everything,” Aaron breathed out as his tears began to flow.

“Really,” Robert whispered as he imagined the horrific things Aaron had had to relive in that interview room.

“What?” Aaron snapped the pounding in his head telling him what he had already known, this, drinking to forget, had been bad idea but he could never forget.

“What do you wanna hear Robert?” Aaron cried as he staggered to his feet,

“That I told them how my dad repeated raped me.”

“Aaron stop.”

“How I remember everything?”

“Aaron please,” Robert cried.

“The times, the dates, what he was wearing, what…..” Aaron choked,

“What he smelt like.”

“Aaron,” Robert breathed out as he chest tighten at the sound of Aarons words.

“Too much for you is it?” Aaron asked coldly.

“No,” Robert managed to choked out as he took several deep breathes to calm his racing heart, he’d give anything to take Aarons pain away but he just didn’t know how.

“Well it is for me,” Aaron screamed as he brushed past Robert the nausea hitting him like punch to the gut, he could taste the bile in the back of his throat as he stumbled down the stairs.

He managed a few feet before he collapsed in a heap on the damn grass his breathing ragged as he retched relinquishing the liquid from the depths of his stomach.

“Aaron,” Robert called with concern rushing down the steps bringing the discarded blanket with him.

“Here,” Robert offered weakly as he watched Aaron crawl to his feet wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

Aaron snatched the blanket and wrapped it around himself before swaying slightly.

“I got ya,” Robert claimed as he stood behind Aaron taking the younger man’s weight against his shoulder holding him upright.

“Come on let’s get you home,” Robert insisted all Aaron could do was nod and stumbled along next to Robert as he lead the them back into the village.

When they reached Main Street Robert looked at Aaron and simply asked,

“Where do you wanna go?”

And even though his head was pounding Aaron could read between the lines of the question and looked up at Robert his eyes red rimmed eyes unfocused as he breathed out a single word,

“Home,” not really knowing where that was anymore.

Robert sighed as he took Aarons answer to mean the pub and heaving his body weight against him once again headed in the direction of the pubs back door. The crunch of gravel underneath his feet seemed to break through Aarons daze as the pub came into focus in front of him.

“How?” Aaron questioned Robert as Robert seated him on the wall beside the door.

“Practically had to carry you but your home.”

“Why?”

“Why what?” Robert asked innocently.

“Why are you still here, taking care of me?” Aaron asked looking at him indicating down his body as he let the blanket drop to the floor, his hoodie soaked in his own vomit.

“I’m a mess.”

“Yeh you are but I…..”

“How? How can you love me when I’m….”

“Aaron,” Robert said his name with such adoration Aaron felt himself blush but it wasn’t enough as

he continued to question Roberts loyalty.

“No Robert how, when I’m-I’m broken.”

It was Roberts turn to cry then,

“You’re not! Christ Aaron!” he huffed out as he ran his hand down his face,

“What that man did to you broke you yes, but you’re not broken.”

“I’m not?” Aaron asked in surprise.

“No,” Robert said firmly as he kneeled in front of him and took hold of his hands in his.

“You are the bravest man I know Aaron and that’s why I love you.”

“I’m not brave I’m scared. All. The. Time.”

“So am I,” Robert whispered as he leant up to kiss Aarons sweaty forehead.

He was scared of what Aaron might do to himself, scared that he wouldn’t be able to cope with all this on his own.

Robert cleared his throat as he stood up and stepped back giving Aaron some space. Aaron looked up at the man in front of him, the man that claimed to love him and knew if Robert could see him as whole that maybe just maybe he could go through all of this and make it out the other side.

“What me to take you in?” Robert asked cautiously.

“Nah I’ll be alright,” Aaron nodded towards the door.

“Yes,” Robert promised with a sigh.

“Yes you will.”

“Aaron?” Robert questioned leaving him on his own was the last thing he wanted to do but he knew Aaron needed some time to process the events of the day, but he wanted to know he wasn’t alone.

“What Robert?” Aaron asked tiredly.

“I’m here, whenever just I hope you know that right, if you need to…you know…if you’re hurting just find me cause I can take it whatever you have just lay in on me I’ll be your friend okay, I won’t judge you or pity you I’ll…….I’ll just listen.”

“And get me drunk,” Aaron laughed humourlessly.

“Yes if that’s what you need, just let me in okay because I…”

“Robert I know okay you don’t have to say it.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” Aaron agreed as he got to his feet.

“Well goodnight then,” Robert said awkwardly and turned to leave, he took one step before he heard Aaron whisper behind him,

“Thanks.”

He looked back at the lost boy over his shoulder giving him a reassuring smile before watching him disappear in to the pub.

He didn’t know what Aaron has told the police not the full story and part of him never wanted to but he’d meant what he said to Aaron just a moment ago. He would be there if and when Aaron was ready to lay it all out because despite what felt like the whole world telling him not to, he was irrevocably in love with that brave boy.

 

 

 

 


End file.
